"Hey guys," I said happily as I walked into Matt and Amy's living room. Looked like the whole gang had gathered there. Jeff looked up from tickling his girlfriend, Kameryn, and smiled at me. Shane and his fiancé, Leighanna, wave me over to a seat next to them on the couch. "What'cha wathcin'?" I glance at the TV in time to see Amy carrying out a giant cake and I recignize the home movie instantly. Matt's birthday party from last year, before Baylee left. My heart aches the moment I see her smiling face on the screen.

Getting up from the couch I run to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. I should have stayed home.

"Shan," Matt calls through the door. "I'm sorry man. I didn't know what they were watching until you got here. We shut it off." I open the door and meet Matt's concerned brown eyes.

"I'm fine," I lie. He gives me a knowing look and places a hand on my shoulder. "I'm not fine," I sigh and walk to the back door, stepping out onto the back porch. "I spend every waking minute wondering if she's thinking about me. I wonder if she's as miserable as I am."

"How long has it been," Matt asked.

"Six months, eight days, twelve hours, forty-seven minutes and twenty-nine seconds," I reply. "I just miss her so much it hurts Matt."

"I know how you feel," Matt admits. "I'd be miserable without Aims. But...Shan...I think she's gotten on with her life. You should try to do the same." He pats me on the back and leaves me on the back porch.

"Guess who we saw," Amy said as she, Kameryn and Leighanna sat on my couch.

"Who," I ask sipping my tea.

"Shannon," Kameryn replies.

"He looks just awful," Leighanna.

"Bay, he misses you," Amy says softly.

"I miss him too," I admit reluctantly.

"Then go back to him," Kameryn squeals.

"I can't," I say and get up to put my cup in the sink. The girls follow me. "Things have changed. We're not the same people we were when we met."

"He asked me about you ya know," Amy said.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Leighanna replies smiling. "Matt and the guys are trying to convince him to move on with his life 'cause they think you have."

"I have," I lie.

"No you haven't," Kameryn says placing a hand on my shoulder. "I see how you look at the phone when it rings. You're just praying it's him and when it's not your whole world seems to crumble all over again."

"It's obvious to all of us that you still love him. Go back to him," Leighanna says. "You can work through your problems."

"I don't think we can," I reply sniffling.

"It's been so long since I've seen him," I mumble. "I miss him..." I realize that they're all staring at me with sympathetic smiles. "I just don't think we'll be able to work out our problems."

I walk into my house. My big empty house and turn on the TV, radio, anything to make the house seem less quiet. The silence is what kills me. I sit down on the couch and find my thoughts drifting back to Baylee. Why can't I get her off my mind? I close my eyes and I can still see her electric blue eyes smiling at me. I miss running my fingers through her long chestnut hair. I miss how we used to fit like puzzle pieces when I held her in my sleep.

As I wash out the cups from the girls' visit I find my thoughts drifting back to Shannon. I miss the way his green eyes would twinkle when he laughed. How his hair would drape across his face when he slept. How safe I felt in his arms.

I shake myself out of my thoughts. "I left for good reasons," I mumble. "Good reasons. What's so good about being alone?"