Insecurities
© 2002 Shelly

You and your museum of lovers
The precious collection you've housed in your covers
My simpleness threatened by my own admission

Sara stared at the shoebox full of polaroids. She knew when she met Shawn that he had been a ladies man, but she had never imagined that he had been with this many women. There had to be at least fifty pictures of different women here. She pulled out a random picture and stared at it. The woman was gorgeous. She had long straight raven hair, blue eyes and was curvy in all the right places.

And the bags are much too heavy
In my insecure condition
My pregnant mind is fat full with envy again

"I can't compete with that," she mumbled and glanced down at her round, protruding belly. "Look at me! I'm a cow!"

But I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I can't help it you're my kind of man

"You're not a cow." She spun around startled and dropped the box. "I kept meaning to get rid of those," Shawn said walking over to pick up the scattered pictures. He collected the box and kissed her cheek. "I'll go dump these in the trash. No need for them now that I have you." Sara watched him as he left the room and sighed.

"I was just being silly," she muttered and continued to clean out the closet.

Wanted and adored by attractive women
Bountiful selection at your discretion
I know I'm diving into my own destruction

"I love you Shawn," a big breasted blonde fan yelled and grabbed Shawn as he walked by. Sara watched as the women manhandled him and sighed sadly to herself.

So why do we choose the boys that are naughty?
I don't fit in so why do you want me?
And I know I can't tame you but I just keep trying

She watched as Shawn tried to get away from the mob, a huge smile on his face the whole time. She knew that she shouldn't be jealous of those fans, but a part of her always was. He was with her now, but she knew that a part of him would always be that smooth talking ladies man that Shawn Michaels has always been.

'Cause I love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
I’m on your list with all your other women
But I still love to wash in your old bathwater
You make me feel like I couldn't love another
I can't help it you’re my kind of man

Yet she just couldn't bring herself to leave him. She loved him and she knew that she would never be able to love another man.

Why do the good girls always want the bad boys?

She watched sadly as a fan asked him to sign her breasts and he gladly obliged and wondered what he had ever seen in her. She was far from those fans who were literally throwing their chests in his face. What did he see in her?

So I pacify problems with kisses and cuddles
Diligently doubtful through all kinds of trouble
Then I find myself choking on all my contradictions

"Sorry about that baby," he said once he had finally pried himself from the mob. He pulled her to him and kissed her softly. She pressed her body to his and enjoyed the feeling of his strong arms around her.

"It's ok," she said softly. "You're fans love you too." She groaned inwardly knowing that they had had an argument just the other day about his fans.

'Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Love to think that you couldn't love another
Share a toothbrush you’re my kind of man
I still love to wash in your old bathwater
Make me feel like I couldn't love another
I can't help it you're my kind of man

"Let's get you up to the room. You look exhausted," he said kissing her forehead. She nodded and buried her head into his chest savoring the smell of his cologne.

No I can't help myself
I can't help myself
I still love to wash in your old bathwater

She inhaled the manly scent and sighed contently. Despite all her insecurities about their relationship she still loved him.


Lyrics courtesy of the No Doubt song Bathwater from the Return of Saturn album.

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